Inspiration

This photo is a little darker than I'd like, but darn I cannot for the life of me figure out how to take better lit shots close up with my new camera. My old 2megapixel seemed to do much better than the new 8mp. *sigh* It takes great snapshots though, just not good needlework shots.

I also have some recent progress on Silkwood Manor, but I was too lazy to take a new pic so you'll have to wait until next time I work on it to see a new picture. Seems lately life has been really busy and I don't get enough time to stitch or post! The good part of that is that my work is being recognized at work and I got a nice fat raise at my review a few weeks back. Can always appreciate that, right?

Since I did get a nice raise at work, and DH got a nice raise too (not as nice as mine though!), DH could no longer ignore my pleas to make a return trip to Disney this summer. So we are going 8/23/08 thru 8/31/08. I know it will be really hot in Florida that time of year, but I just don't want to take Alex out of school again. He is doing really well, but he is a kid that has to work really hard to do well - it doesn't come easy to him - and I don't want to stress him out trying to make up a week's worth of work.

Things with DH are still a bit rocky right now. We had a huge fight on Sunday about pretty much nothing, but I blew up at him because I couldn't take the constant criticism anymore. Of course as soon as I've blown my stack, the fight is only about that and not about all the millions of jabs and nasty things he's done/said in the time leading up to it. Drives me bonkers. I always end up apologizing for the things I've done wrong (and I know I should be able to control my temper better sometimes) while he just withdraws and refuses to talk to me claiming he is 'scared' of me - yeah, right whatever. (He says he is scared because I threw my car keys on the ground and somehow that is violent - I could understand a bit if I threw them at him, but I digress.)

We did make up though finally, after 2 days of him being "afraid", and generally emotionally unavailable and passive agressive, and me crying my eyes out wondering how after 13 years of building my life around this sap, that a few harsh words have me 'unworthy' of his love/attention/understanding.

He did finally admit to his part in it and also admitted that my "outbursts" (which is really just me yelling at him for 30 seconds about how I hate being critisized) are fewer and farther between than they have been in years past. He thinks things are all roses now - but every time we have one of these experiences I'm just left feeling really resentful at all the pain I just went through for what would have been a very minor incident to any normal person. I make up with him because he'll stop being nasty and rubbing salt in the wound when I do, but I don't feel close to him or like I love him. And it is just so hard to get him to admit that yeah, maybe he was being mean/unreasonable when he was sarcastic and nasty about me not getting the doors open fast enough, or not getting in the left turn lane fast enough to make the green arrow in traffic. (Don't get me started on how I have to drive everywhere cause he is too "stressed".)

*sigh* I guess I just needed to vent that all out somewhere - feel free to ignore.