Friday, June 02, 2006

"L" is for L O S E R

I didn't get the placement. My manager told me that the client interviewed three other applicants because they didn't feel I was "enthusiastic" about the position at the interview. They ended up taking one of them. I know reading my blog you can tell I wasn't enthused - but I swear I didn't act like that at the interview. I was friendly, polite, and did the best I could to show that I was confident I could do the job. I was even feeling a little bit competitive, so although the placement was never my dream job, I definitely went after it. I suppose my personality isn't bubbly by nature. The woman who first got the position is very much like that - but that just isn't me. I wouldn't have acted that way even if I wanted it so bad it hurt.

I sort of suspect that my firm didn't even want me to get it. It turned out to be only part-time after the first few weeks (something they didn't know going in to the first interview) and since I'm salaried as a full time employee that is time I'd be "benched" and not bringing in money, but couldn't be started on a new placement. I believe the person who did get this placement is a part-time hourly person at my firm, so they were probably promoting her this time around and didn't want to tell me they weren't in my corner. So instead they are trying to blame the failure on me not being "enthused" enough.

Anyway, I'm going to do my best to stop obsessing over it and hopefully another better placement will come up soon. I just hate that the impression everyone seems to be getting is that I wasn't good enough.


Singular Stitches said...

Sorry to read about the appointment. What did they want you to do, do backflips???

Mel in Dubai said...

Hey Jen, don't be so hard on yourself! You did your best and it wasn't meant to be which means something better is coming your way :)

Lelia said...

What a bummer. I say, just be yourself. If that isn't good enough, to heck with it/them.

Hang in there.