UGH! Somedays I wish I never became a mother. I know, I know, I'm very blessed to have two very beautiful children who are for the most part happy and healthy. I'm just so sick to death of doing everything for them lately. And Katie has gotten so clingy - I literally cannot step down the hall to pee without her hanging on the gate and crying hysterically as if I'd beaten her or something. And DH is really no help. He has started a new job while still working his old one and lately it seems he is always home later than he said he'd be. And he pretends to help - but doesn't really get the job done so then I have to step in and set things right. It is soooo aggravating to never have a moment to myself. For example, tonight DH offers half way through our meal to give me a break and finish feeding Katie so I can eat my dinner. Sounds pretty good right? I say thanks and go ahead and eat only to discover when I'm through that Katie hasn't eaten one bite since I handed her off to DH. He has just been letting her pass the food back and forth to his plate and she has been playing instead of eating! He thinks this is hysterical only I know that now I have to get her to understand we are not playing now, we are eating now which proves nearly impossible after he has set the precedent for fun and games at the table. So she doesn't eat. So she will be cranky the rest of the night and I'll have to feed her later to quiet her. Then DH wonders why I'm all stressed but don't want to give up the "chores" to him. Sometimes I think he does it on purpose. Other times he'll say go ahead and take a break and I'll watch Katie for awhile. I no more than get downstairs on the computer or to my stitching chair and she is screaming. DH will just sit there and say "baby she's crying" like he is coming to me to fix the problem. And Katie has taken to just screaming when she wants something. Not crying - screaming. Just letting out a loud screech as if something horendous has just happened. Usually she wants to be picked up. I know some of that is normal because she is old enough to want to communicate now, but hasn't figured out how to use words yet. It is just so nerve wracking to be going about your day and to have an unpredictable piercing scream in your ear at every turn.
*sigh* I know this too will pass. And I am truly grateful for all I have - I'm just frustrated and burnt out. If I can just hang on til Tuesday. Tuesday I get to spend the entire day by myself at the judging for the fair. I don't care if I don't win one ribbon or hear one favorable comment about anything I stitched from the judges or the other stitchers there - I'm just going to be glad to have a whole day to do what I want. I can look at stitching and crafts all day, eat lunch without having to worry about whether Katie is eating hers, and just relax without any piercing screams. Sounds like heaven right now.
OLD HABITS DIE HARD
14 hours ago